Here they talked of toilet tissue,

Here they said the shipment came,

Here they said they’d have more tissue, but it’s gone now all the same.

From the grocery on the corner,

To the Walmart down the block,

We have searched through every aisle

And yet we still search now

With every shopping cart returned

Defeat has but consumed us.

In this lonely parking lot, again.

Oh my friends, my friends forgive me

If I ask for TP loans,

There’s a shame that can’t be spoken,

And there’s a pain goes on and on.

Tissue dust upon the window,

Tissue shreds upon the floor,

Empty shelves at every Costco, where’s the toilet paper gone?

Oh my friends, my friends don’t ask me

If I have tissue to spare

Empty shelves at every Costco

Toilet paper is no more.

♪♬